I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
