Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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