when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
