A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
