Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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