My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
