OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
