He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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