well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
