Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
