PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
my liver is dry heaving
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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