why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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