just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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