you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
