Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
