I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
