Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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