Porn is love you can see.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
