I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
