Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
do herpes really smell.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
