Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
