P.S. I can't hear my feet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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