We won't sleep together?
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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