At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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