Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
