Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
