i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Even my vagina gasped.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
