Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
