Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
