in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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