My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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