I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
