how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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