I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
