I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
