you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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