Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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