sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I need moral support for this bender
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
