so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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