My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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