do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
