You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
