So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
