In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
