How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
