I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
