The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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