like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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