k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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