mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
