eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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