i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
