Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
